Diary of a Leader: The Human Side of Leadership

Lindsay Sheldrake
Oct 15, 2024
5 min read

Updated: Apr 4

Welcome to "Diary of a Leader" - Real Stories, Leadership Lessons, and Personal Growth

Lindsay Sheldrake - The Human Side of Leadership — Diary of a Leader - The Human side of Leadership

Ah, leadership! The thrilling, heart-racing journey of ups, downs, and all the delightful chaos in between.

Welcome to "Diary of a Leader," where I peel back the curtain on the good, the bad, and the downright awkward moments of being a leader.

And today, I’m serving up a leadership lesson that hit me harder than I expected—the human side of leadership. This one was a game-changer, and if there’s one takeaway, it’s this:

Every conversation is human-to-human, no matter how much logic makes sense on paper.

The Situation: Logic vs. Emotion

Let me set the scene.

I was a manager at a company, and as an executive team, we decided to reorganize the organizational structure. For a long time, we had team leads in positions to support various departments, but over time, the company shifted. We ended up with smaller teams, stronger managers, and more crossover between departments. In some cases, team leads were no longer leading anyone, which led us to question whether the role was even necessary.

There was a lot of logic behind the change. The need for team leads had diminished, and it seemed like a natural step to restructure. Six other team leads were affected, and they took the change in stride. Their titles were adjusted, but the pay remained the same, and their scope of work shifted slightly. On paper, it all seemed clear and necessary.

But as it turns out, logic doesn’t always account for emotions.

The Conversation That Didn’t Go As Planned

I approached one of my team leads, ready to roll out the changes as I had with everyone else. I explained the new structure, the reasoning, and the fact that her title would change while her salary stayed the same. I thought I was doing everything right—I was logical, straightforward, and clear.

But the moment I finished, she sank into her beanbag chair and started to cry. And she kept crying.

I was completely caught off guard. I’d used the same approach with the other team leads, and they understood it was a necessary shift. But with her, it was different. No matter how much I tried to explain the reasons, she couldn’t see past the change in her title and responsibilities.

It wasn’t about the logic or the details of the plan. It was about what the role meant to her. She took so much pride in leading her department, not just the projects but the people. And the truth is, she is one of the best leaders I know. Part of her gift is caring so deeply about her work and the people she supports. This wasn’t just a job title change for her—it was a shift in what she valued most.

The Turning Point: Embracing the Human Side of Leadership

As I watched her sink further into sadness, I was tempted to chalk it up to “tough decisions that disappoint people,” which is part of the job, right? But something made me stop.

I realized that in my logical approach, I had completely overlooked the emotional impact this change would have on her. I hadn’t considered how much pride she took in her leadership role and how much this shift would affect her on a personal level.

So, instead of continuing to explain the change, I did something different:

I chose to connect with her on a human level.

I put the logic aside and started to empathize with how she was feeling. I acknowledged the loss she was experiencing and the disappointment that came with it. I let her know I saw her value and the amazing work she’d done.

That was the moment things started to change. The outcome didn’t shift—her role still changed—but the way we connected did. We were able to have an open, honest conversation that wasn’t just about job titles or organizational charts. It was about recognizing her as a person and valuing what she brought to the team.

And imagine the long-term impact if I hadn’t pivoted in that moment. If I had just continued down the logical path, dismissing her emotional response, I could have lost one of the best leaders I know. The potential damage to her morale, engagement, and even her long-term career trajectory could have been significant.

The Lesson: Why the Human Side of Leadership Matters

Reflecting on this experience, I realized that while the logic of the change made sense, I had failed to account for the human side of leadership. If I had considered earlier how this change might impact her as a person, I would have been better prepared to handle it in the moment, and it likely would have gone much smoother.

Here’s the truth: In leadership, you can’t treat conversations like transactions. They aren’t just about delivering information or rolling out plans. They’re about understanding that you’re talking to a human being who has emotions, values, and pride in their work.

If I had approached the situation with this in mind from the start, I would have acknowledged the emotional impact upfront, rather than waiting until things fell apart. The conversation could have been more about finding a way forward together, rather than just explaining a change.

How You Can Apply This Lesson (And Why You Should)

The next time you’re facing a tough conversation, remember that logic isn’t the only factor at play. Here are a few ways to make sure you’re prepared to connect on a human level:

Acknowledge the Emotional Impact - Before delivering news, consider how it might affect the person emotionally. If you recognize the potential impact ahead of time, you can address it openly and empathetically.
Listen Before You Explain - Don’t jump straight into the details. Give the other person space to share their feelings and concerns. Sometimes, just being heard can make all the difference.
Validate Their Experience - Let the person know you understand how they feel and that their emotions are valid. Even if the decision won’t change, acknowledging their perspective shows that you value them as a person.

Wrapping Up (Because Time is Precious)

The lesson I’m sharing today is simple, but it’s one that I quickly recognized as crucial:

The human side of leadership is essential.

If you can approach tough conversations with empathy and a willingness to connect, you’ll be able to handle even the most difficult situations more effectively.

Catch you next time, fellow leaders-in-training—and remember, leadership is about more than just making the right decisions; it’s about making meaningful connections.